-My Silent Shouts-

Episode 138 : Lie to Me

2011-02-15T20:10:00.000+08:00

'Sup Blog,

It has been a while since I last posted an Episode :]

I just wanna tell you that I'm doing fine over here.
Midterm is just around the corner and I'm trying my best to get ready for it.

The pressure is there but I seem to be ignoring it.
I don't know if that is good or bad. Haha.

Anyways, I found this awesome wallpaper yesterday.
It says "Lie to Me".

Kinda obnoxious but I like it. ;]

That's all from me this time blog.
Catch ya later ;]

Truthfully,
H.

SoD 15 : M P 3

2011-02-15T20:06:00.000+08:00

Hey Blog!

Sight #15

My Good Old M-Pea-Tree

SoD 14 : A Lamppost

2011-02-14T21:50:00.000+08:00

Hey Blog,

Sight #14

A Lamppost :D

SoD 13 : Teh Mouse

2011-02-14T21:47:00.000+08:00

Hey Blog,

Sight #13

A Mouse.

Supposed to be uploaded yesterday :3

SoD 12 : HP

2011-02-12T19:10:00.001+08:00

Hey Blog,

Sight #12

Tis is the back of a HP laptop :]

SoD 11 : 911

2011-02-12T19:08:00.001+08:00

Hai Blog,

Sight #11

Somebody call 911!
:D

Fire Alarm

(Supposed to be uploaded on 11th of February)

SoD 10 : Passport

2011-02-12T19:06:00.003+08:00

Yo Blog,

Sight #10

No, it's not really my passport.
It's just an external hard drive.

Blue WD Passport

(Supposed to be uploaded on 10th of February)

SoD 9 : Sunset

2011-02-12T19:05:00.001+08:00

Hai Blog!

Sight #9

A nice view from CAIS :]

Sunset @ CAIS

(Supposed to be uploaded on 9th of February)

SoD 8 : USB

2011-02-12T19:03:00.001+08:00

Hey Blog!

Sight #8

WD USB

(Supposed to be uploaded on 8th of February)

Episode 137 : Holiday's Over

2011-02-07T11:29:00.000+08:00

Hai Blog,

The holiday is now over.
Thus, my progress stops here :[

~~1 - Computer and Computer Network~~
2 - System Analysis and Design
3 - Data Structure and Algorithms

~~4 - IT-Tools for Knowledge Workers~~

~~5 - Linear Algebra~~

3/5
60% Completed!
Status : (2) (3) still in progress.

Still, I'm happy I finished 3 of em :]

Bai,
H.

SoD 7 : Kukuslus

2011-02-07T11:24:00.001+08:00

Hey Blog,

Sight #7

Calculus. A short course.

SoD 6 : Teh Letter

2011-02-05T22:16:00.001+08:00

Hai Blog!

Sight #6

It's just a letter G.

Letter G.

SoD 5 : Rubik's Confusion

2011-02-04T23:51:00.001+08:00

Hey Blog,

Sight #5

An old toy. :]

A Rubik Cube.

Episode 136 : Almost Done

2011-02-04T23:41:00.001+08:00

Hye Blog!

Good news.
After all those "guling2" during this break,
I finally got 2 things done.

1 - Computer and Computer Network
2 - System Analysis and Design
3 - Data Structure and Algorithms

~~4 - IT-Tools for Knowledge Workers~~

~~5 - Linear Algebra~~

2/5
40% Completed!
Status : Happy Mode! (1) (2) in progress.

SoD 4 : Coin

2011-02-03T15:23:00.000+08:00

Hai Blog,

Sight #4

Syiling Unimas :D

Episode 135 : Obstacle

2011-02-02T00:18:00.000+08:00

Hai Blog,

Not very proud of it.
But here's my progress.

1 - Computer and Computer Network
2 - System Analysis and Design
3 - Data Structure and Algorithms
4 - IT-Tools for Knowledge Workers
5 - Linear Algebra

0/5
0% Completed
Status : (1) STILL In Progress

Baii,
H.

SoD 3 : Hearing Aid?

2011-02-02T00:16:00.000+08:00

Hai Blog,

Sight #3:

Thing I use to hear.

Tis is mah headphone? :3

SoD 2 : Buku Buku

2011-01-31T17:11:00.000+08:00

Hai Blog,

Sight #2:

Cover of Data Comm. Text Book :D

Took me about 50 minutes to find this freakin' book.
:D

Episode 134 : Starto!

2011-01-31T16:51:00.000+08:00

Hey Blog,

Now I'm in progress.
Just wanna tell you that :D

1 - Computer and Computer Network
2 - System Analysis and Design
3 - Data Structure and Algorithms
4 - IT-Tools for Knowledge Workers
5 - Linear Algebra

0/5
0% Completed
Status : (1) In Progress

SoD 1 : Introduction

2011-01-30T19:40:00.000+08:00

Hey Blog,

Today I'm gonna start a new section called SoD (Sight of the Day).
Which means, I'm gonna be uploading a picture everyday.
Whether it's something or someone or someplace.
It doesn't matter coz it's my sight of the day :D

Look forward to upload most of the sights around me.
Starting with Sight #1:

A Dead Black Pen.

Episode 133 : Cuti Mode Activate

2011-01-29T22:59:00.000+08:00

Dear Blog,

I feel so relaxed today.
My mind feels empty. (Just for a short while. heh)
My body feels relaxed.
Finally can put my brain in sleep mode.

I just spent the whole day doing nothing but rolling around in my bed.
I liked it. :]

I'm gonna continue relaxing until tomorrow.
Before I bring out my big guns to start catching up.

So, as of now.
The list remains the same.

1 - Computer and Computer Network
2 - System Analysis and Design
3 - Data Structure and Algorithms
4 - IT-Tools for Knowledge Workers
5 - Linear Algebra

0/5
0% Completed
Status : Charging up!

Truthfully,
H.

Episode 132 : Busy Week Ended!

2011-01-28T21:17:00.000+08:00

Hai Blog!!

I am happy today :]
Not just that I've completed both of my assignments,
But also I've gone through a surprise test in the middle of the week
Unprepared of course :D
But still, I manage to just "hentam keromoh" and smile at the end of the test.

Hurm..
Now that the holiday is starting,
I better start planning for catching-up with my studies. ;3

So let's lay out the things that have to be settled by the end of the week.
1 - Computer and Computer Network
2 - System Analysis and Design
3 - Data Structure and Algorithms
4 - IT-Tools for Knowledge Workers
5 - Linear Algebra

0/5
0% Completed
Status : Ready Mode!

Ready-ing,
H.

Episode 131 : Buzz Buzz Buzy Like a Bee

2011-01-27T22:33:00.000+08:00

Blog,

This week was very hectic.
I can't even find time to think. @_@

2 Assignments are due this week.
I guess I'll manage.
And I'm having difficulty to get up from bed :[
I wonder how could I avoid that. :/

Bye,
H.

Episode 130 : Newcomers

2011-01-22T00:29:00.000+08:00

Haihai Blog,

I went out with a bunch of newcomers from my faculty.
It was all of a sudden but still it was hella fun.

I was kinda shocked at first when there were 13 of them coming along.
Was a big group indeed.

I brought 2 of my friends coz I was kinda scared lol.
Well everything went well.
Lots of pizza was on the table.
Luckily there were no leftovers. :]

I have a blur vision on who is who.
Hopefully I can remember all of their names.

Still feels fun,
H.

Episode 129 : Shifted

2011-01-20T16:24:00.000+08:00

Hey Blog,

It's a free day. Classes cancelled.
Thank god I didn't choose any tutorial/lab slots on Thursday ;]

Currently in progress of my assignments.
Algebra which is due on the 31st.
And Data Structure which is due on the 27th.

Both of em are giving me a hard time.
>.<
Now I know what it's like to meet something new.
People seems to be evasive when I came near them.

I wonder if I'm that repulsive?

Sighing,
H.

Episode 128 : Exhausted

2011-01-19T22:32:00.000+08:00

Hai Blog,

I feel a little sad now that my roommate is officially gone.
And I don't know why.
But I feel very tired almost all the time now.
:[

I mean it doesn't feel so different from the last semester.
But something is making me tired.

And as usual, I'm having trouble to keep up with the lecturers as some of them is too fast and some of them are just singing me a lullaby T_T".

Exhausted,
H.

Episode 127 : Bad H!

2011-01-15T01:01:00.000+08:00

Hi Ho Blog,

I'm bad because I can't shake myself off from Trickster Online >.
I need to study damit!

I just wish I could just forget about it for just a minute.
:[

Still addicted,
H.

Episode 126 : Still R A I N

2011-01-14T10:36:00.000+08:00

Blog Blog Blog,

It's still raining over here :O
Getting colder each and every day.
I managed to sleep without turning the fan on yesterday. :D

Anyways, nothing much to report.
Let's just be thankful that we're all still alive. :]

Signing out,
H.

Episode 125 : R A I N

2011-01-11T23:05:00.000+08:00

Hey blog,

Just wanna tell u that I'm happy.
First of all, cause I got various of good news from various people.
Second, it has been raining like all the time now.
So the air is always cool and breezy. :]

Let's see. What else.
Oh yea, currently I'm catching up with the only maths subject for me this semester, Linear Algebra.
Honestly, this subject is much more trickier than Calculus.
Usually I spend about 4~5 minutes to check back my mistake.
But Algebra made me took like 10~15 minutes just to find a little mistake.
I'm hoping that I could catch up to the syllabus that they're teaching here.

Other subjects seems dull as of now.
But I'm sure each of em will give me a big slap in my face in the future.
Well, off for more Algebra!!
Wish me luck n_n!

Happily,
H.

Episode 124 : Money Money Money

2011-01-10T00:18:00.000+08:00

Hey blog,

Earlier today I checked my e-mail and gotten 1 from PTPTN.
It says that I have been offered to upgrade my sponsorship for an additional 2k.
I'm not sure if it's really necessary.

Meanwhile, trickster has been sucking out my money like water now :[
If only I could control myself from buying cute items.

Sincerely,
H.

Episode 123 : Burdensome

2011-01-08T18:33:00.000+08:00

Hai blog,

Short post this time.
I've just realized something I should have realized a long time ago.
Getting a degree is somewhat very burdensome.

Confused,
H.

Episode 122 : Semester Two

2011-01-08T00:37:00.000+08:00

Hiya blog,

Today I'm gonna tell you about my semester 2's schedule.

Quite packed in my opinion :x

But I guess I just have to bear it through.

5 months of adventure, here I come!

6 courses.

5 months.

1 me.

Tired,

Episode 121 : Choices Again

2011-01-07T10:50:00.000+08:00

Hey Blog,

I never get tired from making choices don't I?

This time it's about the programme I'm taking.

Should I be a Computational Science (CS) student or a Software Engineering (SE) student?

First of all, I've never heard of CS before, since UNITEN didn't offer that programme there.

But, CS focus mainly on maths which I do love.

But then again, statistics of CS students graduating isn't so wonderful to look at.

To cover that, CS students is said to be "good" after they graduate.

So, CS 2, SE 2.

I'll decide later. It's getting annoying just thinking about it.

Sincerely,

Episode 120 : Bad Start

2011-01-05T00:13:00.000+08:00

Hi Blog,

It's me again.

Currently I'm pursuing my 2nd semester of my degree.

My results from the 1st semester was good in my opinion.

But some still beg to differ.

But I don't care.

My results, my life, my way.

Anyways, I was feeling a bit down lately.

Not because of me.

But because the others around me.

They seem to be disappearing one by one.

I'm scared.

I mean, what kind of successful man I ought to be if I can't even save my friends around me?

I feel down each time I think about it.

Luckily there are still some that are trying to cheer me up.

Thanks.

Feeling down,

Episode 119 : A New Chapter [3]

2011-01-04T17:50:00.000+08:00

Ohai Blog,

So, I'm here to introduce a new chapter of my life.

We shall call it : Hypocrisy.

The greatest way to live with honor in this world is to be what we pretend to be. ~Socrates

So this time, I'm going to try to be fully hypocrite.

Wish me luck. :]

Yours truly,

Episode 118 : Two Zero One One

2011-01-01T02:31:00.008+08:00

Blog!

It's 2011!

New adventures! New sem!

More new stuffs!

Let's see..

Oh okay. Checking back last year's wishlist.

1. An Independent Life. [Check!]
2. Always be there for my BFFs. [Failed]
3. Lots of sweaters. (lol) [Check!]
4. Core 2 Duo for my pc. [Failed]
5. Further my studies. [Check!]
6. Revenge. [Failed]
7. Fall in love? (LOL!!) [Failed]
8. Change something. [Failed]

Wow. 3/8 success only :[

[1] - Yay for life!

[3] - Well I just bought 1 new one. But it still counts! lol

[5] - Thanks UNIMAS!!

[2] - I've been neglecting them at the end of the year. So, I'm a bit dissapointed. :[

[4] - Well it might not be so brilliant to upgrade something that I won't be using anyway :]

[6] - I guess I'm still the stupid me. This one still going to be on this year's list. Heh.

[7] - I'm too naive to fall in love. But what the heck, I'll still give it a try this year.

[8] - I still feel nothing has changed. Going on the list! Haha.

Okay now to construct a new one for this year :D

1. Be a complete hypocrite.

2. Revenge.

3. Fall in love.

4. Change something.

5. 4.00 GPA.

6. 1TB External HDD.

7. New MP3.

8. 1 more sweater.

9. At least post 5 times a week in blog.

Okay! Let's do these things!

Truthfully,

Episode 117 : Comeback

2010-12-31T23:44:00.000+08:00

Hey Blog!

It has been so long since I last posted here D:

2010 is going away.

2011 is approaching.

I will start a new chapter soon.

So, bear with me :]

Let's countdown to 2011 blog.

This wonderful year has helped me get up from my fall.

So I'm grateful to know that you are here too. :]

Sincerely,

Episode 116 : Left

2010-06-24T00:24:00.000+08:00

Dear Blog,

No, I'm not talking about the direction.

But I'm saying how much time is left before I start my journey.

The journey that I had been waiting for 1 year.

I still couldn't believe I've come all this way.

Seriously, I thought this day would never come.

I'm still so very thankful.

To everyone that had helped me.

Giving me a hand while I am all messed up in the ground.

I wouldn't have made it without all of you.

I am going to make it up for you guys one day.

I don't know how.

But I will try. :]

And to you too blog.

All these time, when I can't speak my mind.

You've always been there for me to express myself.

I'm glad.

Sincerely,

Episode 115 : Gift

2010-06-22T23:51:00.002+08:00

Dear Blog,

I got a gift recently.
And I admit, the gift was rather very precious and meaningful to me.
It is quite complicated to tell the story on how it happened.

Trickster Online.
That is how I met her.
A sweet person who goes by the name Arantir in the game; Aran for short.
Only god knows how thankful I am to her at this point.
After I told her I got the offer to go to Unimas, she gifted me her personal laptop.
Saying how much I needed it in the university life.
At first I told her that is too much for a gift.
But she insisted.
So thank you again, Aran.
I'll put up the picture somehow in the future.

Thankful,
H.

Episode 114 : Like a Dream Come True

2010-06-21T23:52:00.001+08:00

Dear Blog,

My UPU results came out last Friday.
I didn't know until Sheril called me.
Immediately after she told me, I checked in the website.

And there it was.

I don't know how to describe my feelings really.
But at some point, I forgot to breathe, my tears were coming out.
Monologuing, "Is this a dream?"
And I said, "No, this is the real thing."

Told Sheril at that very moment.
I think she heard my whole reaction. lol that was embarrasing.
Told her that I had to tell Taufiq as well.

Weird reasons, I can't seem to reach both of his phone.
So I called his mom instead.
His mom told him I called and he called me back.
Told her the news and I'm glad he was happy too. :]

I called up my mom right after that call ended.
She was rather excited too.
She asked me to tell the rest of the family members.
And I did.
No one could guess the correct one when I ask them to take a guess.

Then I told my Trickster friends.
They congratulated me in happiness.

Like the title said, it is like a dream come true.

Still can't believe this,
H.

Episode 113 : No Idea

2010-06-21T01:21:00.000+08:00

Dear Blog,

No idea for a title.
Haven't written anything in so long.
Sorry Blog.
Must've been quiet in here.

I have lots to tell you.
Too much progress had been done in the past 4~5 weeks.
Let's get started shall we?
:3

Hmm.. Let's see.
All I have been doing was work, play Trickster, sleep. Rinse and repeat.

Secret Recipe was fun yet very tiring.
MTM was very easy yet so boring.
Trickster was full of joy yet there are dramas everywhere I go.
Sleep is relaxing yet the dreams are weird and sometimes scary.

My point is, I had never satisfied with what I have.
I don't know really.
It's life.

More updates tomorrow blog.
See you.

Falling asleep,
H.

Episode 111 : Regular Work

2010-05-19T15:57:00.000+08:00

Hey Blog,

Nothing much to tell.
Did okay working for the past 2 days.
The customers have somehow decreased compared to last week.

But just before I got back from work.
It started raining heavily.
And I can't get home :[

I had to wait until the rain ease off first.
Which brings me to here.
Home @ 12:11 A.M

Still Tired,
H.

Episode 112 : Data Entry

2010-05-18T01:57:00.000+08:00

Hi Blog,

It's data entry day, Monday!
Haha. It's actually work for the magazine called "Motor Trader".
I only have to key in the car details and presto! I'm done.

Too bad my handsfree is too stupid to not work while I'm working.
Now all I have in my head is "Tik Tok Tik Tik Tok Tok" (Sound of keyboard tapping)

I'll buy a new one for next week's issue I guess.
Before I go insane.

Tik Tok Tik Tik,
H.

Episode 110 : Typing Test

2010-05-14T23:48:00.001+08:00

Hi Blog,

I did a typing test earlier in a company called Motor Traders Malaysia (MTM).
I think I did fine.
Because they're gona call me in next Monday for the job.

I'll be doing data entry. Whatever the hell that means.
So, until then.

Tired,
H.

Episode 109 : My Legs!!

2010-05-09T23:55:00.005+08:00

Dear Blog,

My legs feels like its gona be chopped off.
There's sooo many customers today.
It's like they've nothing to do except eating lots of cakes today.

I can't even find a decent 10 minutes time to sit.
Thank god I only work from Friday to Sunday.

Anyway, it was a fun day.
Lots of jokes being thrown around.

The one who smiled,
H.

Episode 108 : Like It's Yesterday

2010-05-07T23:25:00.004+08:00

Blog,

I've started back working @ Secret Recipe this evening.
And as shocking as I am back behind the counter,
I feel as if I never left that place.
Everything seems like it's just the day I quit that job.

The good news is, there's new people that I can get to know.
The bad news is, it feels so bored doing the same thing over and over again.

Ah well, I guess I'll just get use to the situation.
Time to sleep now.
Gotta go to work @ 11 tomorrow :]

Your Friend,
H.

Episode 107 : No Entries

2010-05-04T21:37:00.001+08:00

Hey Blog,

I'm sorry I didn't have the time to post more entries about my life.
It's just that there's so little time and there's nothing that interesting about my life anymore.

Anyway, I got a job offer back @ Secret Recipe The Mines.
And I said "Yes.".

So from now on, I'll be working again on Friday, Saturday and Sunday.
I hope I still remember how and what to do while I'm working.
That's the update as of now.
I got a feeling more is coming by.

Truthfully,
H.

Episode 106 : Happy Birthday Blog!

2010-04-27T00:31:00.000+08:00

Dear Blog,

It's your birthday today.
As of April 27, 2010, you are now 1 year old.
Thanks for always being here by my side through thick and thin.
I can't thank you enough.

You've heard like every bit of my life and stories.
You're a great listener though you can't say anything back to me.
But I guess that's all I need; a listener.

I hope you can stick with me for as long as you can :]
You're an acquaintance, an ally, a friend.
You're a blog.

Happy Birthday, Blog.

Sincerely,
H.

Episode 105 - Affright

2010-03-30T03:01:00.000+08:00

Helo Blog,

I feel kinda scared today :[

I've been talking to myself a lot lately.

Sometimes I talk something that I don't even want to say.

And that is scary.

How can one say something he/she doesn't want to say.

It's just weird.

Anyway, I ate a lot of bahulus today 8D

I don't know why but I got crazed by these bahulus a couple of days ago.

Now I get to eat em! Haha!

Die bahulu die!!

Eating a lot of bahulus,

Episode 104 - Ignorance

2010-03-28T23:56:00.000+08:00

Hi Blog,

It's me again.
I think I have just taken a big step in my journey.
The art of ignorance.

I never did this before but somehow today I managed to do it.
The guilt is still there.
It's just the matter of time for me to lose it.

And to know that I am capable of ignoring now,
Made me feel accomplished somehow.

Ignored,
H.

Episode 103 - Consign to Oblivion

2010-03-28T01:31:00.000+08:00

Hey Blog,

How are you feeling today?
Consign to Oblivion a.k.a Forget.
To remember the past is too painful.

One of my goals to change is to forget.
I'm slowly forgetting about the past and it's not an easy task.
Especially the important memories.

If only there's a pill of somekind to forget,
I would be the first customer.
-Sigh-

Sighing in pain,
H.

Episode 102 - A Home?

2010-03-27T02:19:00.000+08:00

Dear Blog,

Where is your home?
The one place that you feel comfortable,
The place that made you feel that you are you.

For me,
My home is as follows.
It's dark with a dim light. Enough for me to see objects blurry.
It's raining and the air flowing is cool. Not too cold and yet there's no warmth.
A deep slow instrumental music playing. Slow enough to make me feel safe.
A memory of everyone I know.

That is my home.

Sincerely,
H.

Episode 101 - Stillicide

2010-03-26T03:12:00.000+08:00

-A Stillicide-

Dear Blog,

I found this weird word the other day. Stillicide.

Who knew a weird word could carry a beautiful meaning.

My brain is weird.

But maybe. Just maybe there's something beautiful inside there.

I just have to search for it.

I don't know.

I've been doing so many giving up for the past couple of months.

If only I can see where I am going.

Maybe I won't be this scared.

Tryin' to change,

Episode 100 - A hundo!

2010-03-25T21:25:00.001+08:00

Hey Blog,

Tick tock tick tock.
Day after day,
Week after week,
Month after month.

It's finally here, Episode 100.
I, myself didn't really realize that I had such good time writing here.
Hehe.

Let see.
There's like 99 other episodes I posted.
Somehow I feel somewhat happy and yet sad.

Time had passed.
And I'm still me.
-Sigh-

Sincerely,
H.

Episode 99 : Fun with Cars

2010-03-23T07:28:00.000+08:00

Sup Blog,

Last week an accident happened :D
Fortunately no one got hurt :]
But still, RM700 is in my debt book now <_<

Ah well, it's not like I want all of this to happen.
Maybe it's just the universe telling me to be a little bit more active than just sitting around doin nothing :]

Confused,
H.

Episode 98 : Trickster Life

2010-03-09T18:42:00.001+08:00

Dear Blog,

It's about time for me to blurt out about my trickster life.

First of all, Trickster Online is an MMORPG.
Here's a link to anyone interested.
Trickster Online : A New Discovery

So I've been playing Trickster for more than 2 years now.
I started back when I was sitting for my SPM exam.
And I played it up until today.

For the last couple of months I've been working on a main character.
Here he is.

-Solitudity-

His name is Solitudity.
People often call me by the name "Sol" or "Soli".
That's how my trickster life started.

Also, I joined a guild called .
The guild members are so cool and commited.
Just seems right.

Crab. Now I need a new Label just for my Trickster Life.
I'll think of it later ^^.

Sincerely,
H.

Episode 97 : Silenced

2010-03-07T01:33:00.000+08:00

Yo Blog,

Yesterday I met with my 2 BFFs.
In my head I was gonna tell 'em what has become of me.
And what will I become in the future.

But seeing their faces silenced me.
I want to tell.
But words are not coming out.

These are the times where I hate myself a lot.
But I promise this won't happen to the future me.

Sincerely,
H.

Episode 96 : A New Chapter [2]

2010-03-03T15:39:00.002+08:00

Dear Blog,

I'm introducing another new chapter of my life.

Entitled : Journey to Change.

The title pretty much sums it up.

I've decided to change from my old self.

To fit myself in the world we live in today.

It may take as much time as it will.

I'm just happy that I'm starting it right now.

My future posts is likely will look like this.

Just to change the way I post to make it not so boring for me. :]

That's it for now.

I'm changing.

Sincerely,

Episode 95 : The Worst Case Scenario

2010-02-24T07:18:00.000+08:00

So I was thinking to myself.
What if the plans that I had planned for my near future does not happen?
What the hell should I do?

Day by day, I got this feeling.
That I will not get any offer.
Or as many people would say, "FAIL".

I don't know. I can't picture it.
Guess I'll try something else then.
Haiz.

H-out.

Episode 94 : Shattered 2

2010-02-12T19:00:00.001+08:00

Check this out.
Perfomed by Trading Yesterday.
A cool song with a deep meaning

Very calm and peace-like.

The lyrics are below, enjoy.
H-out.

Yesterday I died; tomorrow's bleeding
Fall into your sunlight
The future's open wide beyond believing
To know why hope dies
And losing what was found, a world so hollow
Suspended in a compromise
But the silence of this sound is soon to follow
Somehow sundown
And finding answers
Is forgetting all of the questions we call home
Passing the graves of the unknown

As reason clouds my eyes with splendor fading
Illusions of the sunlight
A reflection of a lie will keep me waiting
With love gone for so long
And this day's ending
Is the proof of time killing all the faith I know
Knowing that faith is all I hold

And I've lost who I am, (i'm waiting)
and I can't understand (and fading)
Why my heart is so broken, (and holding)
rejecting your love, (love) without, (onto these tears)
love gone wrong; lifeless words carry on (i am crying)
But I know, all I know's that the end's beginning (i'm dying tonight)
who I am from the start, (i'm waiting)
take me home to my heart (and fading)
Let me go and I will run, (and holding)
I will not be silent, (silent) all this time (onto these tears)
spent in vain; wasted years wasted gain (i am crying)
All is lost but hope remains and this war's not over (i'm dying tonight)
There's a light, there's a sun (i'm waiting...)
taking all these shattered ones
To the place we belong (i am waiting...)
and his love will conquer all

Yesterday I died; tomorrow's bleeding
Fall into your sunlight

Episode 93 : Shattered

2010-02-07T20:09:00.000+08:00

Things that had shattered.
Let see.

Hope.
Faith.
Trust.
Dream.

I don't even know what I'm doing anymore.
Is this really worth it?
Gah. I can't think straight anymore.
Maybe I should just.. you know.

Later.

Episode 92 : Nothing New

2010-01-26T16:16:00.000+08:00

Hmm. I don't know what to write actually.
But I haven't posted in 6 days.
Which doesn't feel right.

Ah. I just finished watching Prison Break.
4 season in 1 week. Whoa.
I really have nothing to do huh?
lol.

I guess I should write some reviews for that series.
Till then,
H-out.

Episode 91 : Life in The Dark

2010-01-20T03:05:00.003+08:00

I swear. When I was 16, I was so afraid of the dark.
I couldn't even walk through the dark.
Because I didn't know what's in there.

I really can't remember how I overcome that fear.
But I remembered that when I was 17, I became friends with the dark.
Time flies, and the dark had become my best friend.

Now, I can't manage to live without being in the dark.
I don't know if this is a bad or a good thing.

The way I see it, I feel more comfortable in the dark.
Seems all my problems got washed away.
I became more careful.
I feel safe.
I became me.
H-out.

Episode 90 : Gray Sky

2010-01-19T17:52:00.004+08:00

Huh. I saw the sky today.
Weird gray colour. Hmm.

Giving the gloom feeling in my head.
Is there anything bad happening right this moment?
At the moment when I'm thinking about it.
As far as I'm concern, I think there is.

There's nothing I can do anyhow.
I just hope everyone else can cope with these "bad stuff"s.
Because if not, the sky wouldn't be gray.

Put the past behind you.
Because when you do,
The sky will become blue.
-H-

H-out.

Episode 89 : 16th of January

2010-01-16T00:01:00.003+08:00

Ah.. The 16th has arrived.
There isn't anything special. lol.
But time is movin'.
Am glad.

Speaking of this 'glad'.
Sometime I just say it to just calm myself.
For me to know that everything is going to be okay.
Eventhough it's not.

You only had 1 chance to live right?
Haha. Let's just make the best out of it.
I don't know. There's something I can't really express.
It's ineffable. Meaning it can't be explained.

Sometime I wondered, why can't it be simple now?
'Cause I know that the hard part is already out of the way.
At least that what I think.
Haiz.

Before I blab on until tomorrow, lemme stop me self.
Sweet dreams. ^_^

H-out.

Episod 88 - Busan la.

2010-01-14T15:39:00.003+08:00

Hmm..
Sangat2 bosan semenjak duamenjak tigamenjak bermenjak menjak neh.
Aku da apply UPU.
Tatao la dapat ke tidak.

Kalo dapat, dijangkekan aku akan pegi bulan 6/7 neh.
Huhu..

Arr..
Da tatao nk ckp pe.
Busan. Zzzz.

Bai.

Episode 87 - Dull

2010-01-11T02:31:00.002+08:00

Aww man.
I'm getting kinda bored now :/

Repeating the same thing over and over again.
Gahh.
Why couldn't I be happy for a moment. -_-''

I guess that's how it works.
We'll never be satisfied with the things that we already had.
Then again, never say never.

H-out.

Episode 86 - Chance

2010-01-09T00:02:00.000+08:00

An interesting quote.

Throughout life, people only get a single chance to meet one another. Sometime this single moment could be more important than life itself. To meet again, is merely based on luck.
-Unknown-

What I'm saying is, I'm a very lucky bastard to met all of you.
Thanks.

H-out.

Episode 85 - Hypocrite

2010-01-08T05:50:00.001+08:00

Hah. Can't believe I didn't mention this before.
Mkay. Let's talk.

By meaning,

Hypocrisy is the act of persistently pretending to hold beliefs, opinions, virtues, feelings, qualities, or standards that one does not actually hold. Hypocrisy is thus a kind of lie.
-from wikipedia

Lying itself is bad. So what do we call these hypocrites?
Heh. For all I know right now, I really hate them.

Why be hypocritical when you can be truthful?
Even to yourself. You lie even when you don't need to.
It's a disease.
Disease is something that you can't control, which by any means would no be your fault.
Well I say different.

Diseases have cures.
Find it.

By now I know for a fact,

You will hate a hypocrite once you are one.

Yeah I know.
H-out.

Episode 84 - Fulfilled

2010-01-07T00:31:00.004+08:00

Finally.
I promised myself to not publish since october'09.
And here I've published them all. +_+

40 posts to be exact lol.
My determination fulfilled somehow.

With the new layout and such.

I don't know.
Somehow I feel accomplished.

H-out.

Episode 83 - "Awkwardness"

2010-01-06T22:58:00.004+08:00

Hey.
So today, I just did something very spontaneous.
One thing after another. No thinking.
But it turned out it was full of awkwardness. -_-

Bought a UPU pin number to fill up the application form online.
Filled it up.
Went to UNITEN. <~Yeah. What the heck -_-''
Then I ended up joining an event from one of UNITEN's club.
Had some fun and laugh. <~Which is awkward.
Got home and I have an ache on my left shoulder.
Haiz.

H-out.

Episode 82 : People Change

2010-01-06T18:30:00.005+08:00

Ya know when people always said,

"No, people won't change" or any of that crap.

Yea, it's crap. People do change.

You just don't know how, why and when..

To me, changing is a pain.

That's why I don't ever plan to change myself.

Because when you do, you won't even try.

But when you try, you do change.

That's why I hate changes.

Because of trend?

Please. You can start your own trend.

Why depend on others?

You already know others suck.

But why did you follow them?

Ah. This is depressing.

H-out.

A Notice

2010-01-05T01:54:00.001+08:00

All of my posts from October '09 to January '10 will be published on the 7th of January.
Yeah. It's massive @_@"

Episode 81 - Here's Why

2010-01-04T23:31:00.003+08:00

I already told you not to.
But you did it anyway :).

That's why.
H-out.

Episode 80 - Au Revoir Sis

2010-01-03T23:51:00.001+08:00

My sister finally went to live on to be a teacher/lecturer.
I'm not sure which one though.
Now she's in Melaka Matriculation College aka Kolej Matrikulasi Melaka (KMM).

*sigh*.
I'm relieved that I didn't choose to go to matriculation college during my time.
Don't really sure how I got that idea, but it's true.
Somewhere in my heart, just can't find out why.

I'm wishing you all the best.
May we see each other soon.

H-out.

Episode 79 : Two O One O

2010-01-01T00:13:00.001+08:00

Welcome 2010!

I hope things will become better and happier this year.

So here is my wishlist :)

Yea its a cliche, but why not? Haha.

1. An Independent Life.

2. Always be there for my BFFs.

3. Lots of sweaters. (lol)

4. Core 2 Duo for my pc.

5. Further my studies.

6. Revenge.

7. Fall in love? (LOL!!)

8. Change something.

That's about it as for right now. Will update it later. ^_^
H-out.

Episode 78 - 2009 was...

2009-12-31T23:55:00.003+08:00

2009 was the most challenging year so far (yeah, i'm expecting more)
2009 was the year I got kicked out from UNITEN
2009 was confusing
2009 was full of dramas
2009 was the year I lost hope
2009 was the year I got a job @ Secret Recipe The Mines
2009 was the year I quit my job
2009 was the year I found back my hope
2009 was full of creepy coincidences
2009 was fun

A lot more had happened.
But these was all I can pull from my head right now.

Episode 77 - Reminiscing '09

2009-12-30T20:31:00.002+08:00

Wow. This year had been a huge highlight in my entire life.
It's like how everything is changing or changed in like a blink of an eye.

Tomorrow's gonna be the last day of 2009.
To say that I hated this year, I don't.
To say that I loved this year, I don't.
To say that I will always remember this year, I do.

Decisions.
A great and cruel word at the same time.
For the decisions I made during '09, I'd say it was fun.

Regrets.
I always wanted to say that I live my life with no regrets.
But I guess that's not how life works.

Trust(s).
Hmm. That's a tough one.
I really do think that I understand it pretty well.
But I guess that wasn't good enough huh?

So here I go saying goodbye to 2009.
Good to know that I made it alive.
After all the dramas.
I guess I'm tired, but that doesn't give me the excuse to put my life to an end.

Bring it on 2010.
I hope I can do the right decisions most of the time perhaps.
Living my life with the least regrets, trusting only those who can be trusted.

H-out.

Episode 76 : Square One

2009-12-28T18:42:00.002+08:00

So I'm back to square one.

No job.

No school.

No money. <~ Well that's a lie.

Eventually I'll run out of money <_<".>Back to being pointless and useless.

*sigh*

Gib me something to do!!! Darn~

Online games then.

H-out.

Episode 75 - H-S-T

2009-12-27T05:23:00.001+08:00

This goes to my 2 very best friends.

I know I'm a pain.
I know I failed somehow.
But to know that you guys stood with me through thick and thin,
That's the deam.

I can't thank you guys enough because what you guys have done were very very helpful.
I'm really really sorry for my behaviour lately.

Good luck to you both in your studies.
I'll always pray for your happiness and success.

Truthfully,
H

Episode 74 - Back To The Past

2009-12-27T04:15:00.001+08:00

Haha.. No more back to the future.
Let's go back to the past. :)

Today I finally went back home (PD).
Met my high school friends.
We ate KFC @ 10p.m ++ lol.
The chickens were freaking small <_<">.<

After our tank were filled by tiny chickens, we went to the funfair in front of The Store PD.
We went on a ride called.. uh.. dunno whats it called.
Wew wew wew, the ride was over.
Next we went to the beach.

Ah.. What a refreshing smell it was.
Reminds me of my childhood times. lol.
I'm still considered a child right?
Nvm.
Took a bunch of pictures.

Went home around 3 a.m.
H-out.

H-story(W) 16 - Last Day Pics

2009-12-15T00:09:00.001+08:00

Some of the pictures I took on the last day I'm working @ SR.

~Group Pic~

-Me writing Jawi using writing cream-

-Me and Sha-

-Kak Ina , Me and Pendi-

-Kerol , Me and Tobek-

Episode 73 : Pause

2009-12-14T22:49:00.003+08:00

And so, my tale in Secret Recipe has come to an end.

Will it continue?

I'll let the future me decide that.

For now I just wanna rest a bit.

It has been fun, these 2 months.

Totally will be a memory to remember.

Just to take note for future me, this is what has happened @ Secret Recipe Mines since I started working there 'til the day I officially quit. :)

Started on 9th October.

People that had joined : Faiz, Syuhada, Mahadir, Baritsha

People that had left : Fazuan, Yana, Faiz, Syuhada, Najib, En. Farid, Siti, Diha

First Salary : Around 300 (can't remember sorry)

Second Salary : Around 950 ^_^

Third Salary : Around 750

Ended on 14 December.

Okay~ That's for now.

H-out.

Episode 72 - Heart Feelings

2009-12-09T23:37:00.003+08:00

After some time that I have worked, I've realised something useful.
You don't have to take hard/heart(whichever is it) feeling from someone else who bad talks you.

Because words are just words.
You won't die from them :)

If somebody does bad talk you, why don't you join them?
I've done it recently.
It's actually fun to bad talk your own self XD~

H'story(W) 15 - Resign

2009-12-09T00:54:00.001+08:00

I just started my 7 day notice which mean I have to work 7 more days in order to resign my position as a service staff.

Everything seems blurry @ work.
Hmm. I'm tired.

H-out.

Episode 71 - I Hate You

2009-12-07T21:56:00.002+08:00

Today I went back to UNITEN to know my current status after the last appeal my father made last week.
3 words for you.
I Hate You.

Sorry, i'm kinda in a bad mood right now.
Bye.

Episode 70 - Haircut

2009-11-30T23:02:00.001+08:00

Ha. Finally I gave my my beautipool hair. D:
Rm15 is what it takes to take it all away.

Haha. A little dramatic don't you think? :3
Well, I did it earlier today. ^_^
Kinda like my new haircut.
I look like a popstar now lol.
Joking of course -_-''.

No picture yet sorry.
H-out.

Episode 69 - Free Will

2009-11-29T21:40:00.001+08:00

You don't tell me what to do.
I know what I've done and what I'm about to do.
Just this time, at least try.

Even if I would do something extraordinary again, there's nothing you can do to stop me.
I do what I wanted to do.
I can't really stop myself.
Because that's who I am.

H-out.

Episode 68 - Aidiladha @ SR

2009-11-27T23:57:00.002+08:00

Yea. I'm confused too.
Is this supposed to be in H'story or Episode.
Gahh.. I'll just throw it here in Episode since it is a public holiday after all. ~.~

Went to UPM's mosque for Aidiladha prayers in the morning.
Got to work at 11 a.m in my hari raya clothes XD~
Work place seems like a open house lol.
Customers were bashing in on us.
And I had a terrible flu.
Oh what bad luck did I have today x_x.

That's about it.
H-out.

H'story(W) 14 - Salary Day #2

2009-11-26T23:09:00.001+08:00

Happy day today.
Because it's salary day.

Guess how much I made eh?
Hehe.
After all those long working hours.
I made a clean RM950. ^___^!!
That is after my uniform and epf deducted.

What do I do now?

Let's get down and party hard!!!!
H-out.

H'story(W) 13 - Bye Bye PT-ers

2009-11-15T23:59:00.001+08:00

Today was the last day of the part timers before they're gone for 1 whole month.
Not that long, but still.

There's nothing much to say.
I hope you guys get back very soon.
Hope we see each other again.

Do your best!
H-out.

Episode 67 - Talk

2009-11-13T23:29:00.001+08:00

Hmm. Why do people need to talk in everyday life?
Simple answer = Because they can. lol.

It's not like I don't like talking.
It's just I don't like talking for a really really long time.
It's kinda peaceful to keep quiet if you really value your quiet time.

Probably the world would be a disaster if people can't talk anyway.
I'll just have to accept the fact.

H-out.

Episode 66 - Where Art Thou Salary

2009-11-12T22:36:00.001+08:00

lol. Money's tight now.
Where art thou salary.

I wanna eat a big mac.
Hmm. I blanked.
What do I write now?

I want my moneh D:
15 more days to be exact x_x''.

H-out.

H'story(W) 12 - Classic Cheese

2009-11-11T23:24:00.002+08:00

Cheeeeeeeeeeseeee~ lol.

Full Name : Classic Cheese
Category : Cheesecake
Description : A traditional blend of mascarpone cheese and cream cheese with chocolate sponge base and finished with a classic touch.
Rating : 4/5
Comment : Unique. Simple and delicious <3>

-Descriptions are taken 100% from Secret Recipe Website / Pamphlets.
-Rating and Comment are absolutely personal in my point of view.

H'story(W) 11 - CCW

2009-11-10T23:47:00.001+08:00

Get to know Secret Recipe's Cakes Time ^_^.

Full Name : Chocolate Chip Walnut
Category : Chocolate Cake / Cream Cake
Description : Four layers of chocolate cake with fresh chocolate cream, choc chips and Californian walnuts.
Rating : 0.5/5
Comment : The only good tasting from this cake is the most top layer which is crushed chocolate chips. The rest is just plain with walnut sticking out from nowhere. :/

-Descriptions are taken 100% from Secret Recipe Website / Pamphlets.
-Rating and Comment are absolutely personal in my point of view.

H'story(W) 10 - Cheeze Choc

2009-11-09T00:31:00.002+08:00

Cake time again~!!

Full Name : Cheeze Choc
Category : Cheesecake
Description : Soft chocolate mixed with baked cheese and biscuit base.
Rating : 3/5
Comment : Combination of chocolate and cheese in a single cake gives a weird feeling ._.''

-Descriptions are taken 100% from Secret Recipe Website / Pamphlets.
-Rating and Comment are absolutely personal in my point of view.

H'story(W) 9 - White Chocolate Macadamia

2009-11-08T23:43:00.002+08:00

Get to know Secret Recipe's Cakes Time ^_^.

Full Name : White Chocolate Macadamia
Category : Cream Cake
Description : An incredible combination of fresh roasted macadamia nuts and creamy vanilla filling coated with white chocolate.
Rating : 5/5
Comment : Haha. My all time favourite cake @ secret recipe. I like macadamian nuts XD!!

-Descriptions are taken 100% from Secret Recipe Website / Pamphlets.
-Rating and Comment are absolutely personal in my point of view.

Episode 65 - Work Work Work~

2009-11-07T12:08:00.002+08:00

Haha. Sorry I didn't update the blog for some time.
I really have been into my work lately.
Kept me busy day and night.

The rutine goes a little bit occupying the most of my time except my sleep time of course.
I'm really tired actually.
But if this is what I can do to keep me from thinking crazy thoughts then I'd say bring it on~!

Diffrentiating work and the thoughts I've thinking for the last couple of time.
I'd say work would be a little better.

But still, I can't run away from reality.
Hmm. That sounds kinda depressing.
I don't wanna think about it anymore -_-''

H-out.

Episode 64 - Haloween

2009-10-31T23:39:00.001+08:00

Woooo~
Haloween aka the day of the ghosts awaken ._."
Fine, I invented that myself <_<"

Fortunately, Malaysia doesn't celebrate this "ghost day".
I don't really know the meaning of haloween anyway.
I guess I should stay out of trouble lol.

Happy Haloween to anyone who celebrates it. ^_^~
H-out.

Episode 63 : Hello There

2009-10-29T23:04:00.001+08:00

So it turned out that Najib was an MSU graduate.

Was that suppose to be a sign since my intention and all?

After hearing that he can't even find a single job for 2 straight years made me think again x_x''.

Well, let me think now?

H-out.